Drinking the Kool-Aid

After about 10 days worth of procrastination, I did my blood-glucose test today.

Which entailed drinking 50 ml of glucose in under five minutes. As someone who hasn't had anything resembling 50 ml of glucose in so long,  I was anticipating problems. I wasn't sure I'd even be able to keep it down.

It wasn't as bad as I thought. Part of me was tempted to try to "game" the test. That is, go for a brisk walk after I drank it or something. Then, I got smarter and realized that if I am having blood sugar issues, which do run in my family and have always been at least a little problem for me during pregnancy, that it is better to know about it and handle it than to end up with a complication.

So I put my big-girl pants on and sucked it up. Literally.

I felt fine afterward, and that's a good sign.

Fashion issues

I bought my first maternity clothes the other day, a $12 fall dress on the clearance rack at Target. My size vanity is out the window, and I bought a large, even though it's quite big on me right now. I know I'll want to be comfortable later on.

I have to fight my recent tendency to buy dresses, as they will be worthless to me once the baby comes, and I need easier access for breastfeeding. But a $12 one is fine.

My latest Anthropologie clothing purchase (from before I knew I was pregnant) was a loose-fitting top that will work even four months from now (I think) and, recently, a pair of earrings for my upcoming birthday. (I got a richer blue color, which has since sold out, so I'm glad I ordered early.) Otherwise, I'm staying away. I just don't know where my body will be any time other than right now.

Mother's Day!

When Paul and I were talking about getting married, I told him I wasn't sure I'd be a good wife.

"That's OK," he said. "I don't expect much."

That, I think, is the secret to happiness.

I love Mother's Day -- but I think it's because I don't have particularly high expectations for it. I just get to enjoy my kids, just like any other day, and we'll go out to eat at a (loud) not-too-fancy place where I can relax and where most people don't take their mothers. Wahoo's Fish Tacos is more of a surfer hangout than a spoil-your-mom one, but I can eat there easily and the kids love it, too. Plus, today, I eat for free.

My 9-year-old made me a little book with pictures of each family member drawn in it, including the baby. Fortunately, the baby looks more like about a 3-month-old than he/she does right now in his/her embryonic state, which is beautiful in its own way, but probably wouldn't translate well in a kids' drawing.

I've been really lucky on the children front, which I realize whenever I read about or talk to someone who has struggled with infertility. So, I try to look at motherhood as a pleasure, a pleasure that so many people struggle so hard for.

Of course, right now, I'm feeling the nausea more than the pleasure of being pregnant. The kids were talking about "the bad baby" who is making me sick.

I told them that each of them had made me sick, just like the baby has.

Paul, not thinking, said that he had never done that.

I just laughed at him: He had his role.