Starting to show, I guess

Paul asked me the other day, "Can most people tell you're pregnant now?"

I told him that women who knew me already probably can. But strangers can't, necessarily. Many men are going to have more trouble as well.

I ran into one of my guy friends -- the ex of a friend, whom I have stayed in contact with -- and he eyed my belly at the grocery store, "Hey, Kathleen! I thought you were trying to lose weight!"

He was just messing with me, as he knows I'm pregnant. I told him that I'll be losing a lot of weight in five months.


Hospital dream
I had a baby nightmare yesterday, which I suspect is more of a "fear of hospitals" nightmare. In it, because of hospital rules, I had to keep the baby in a little rolling crib as we were leaving to go home. There was also a hospital employee who was "helping" me, and the rolling crib kept nearly falling over because of his carelessness. Then, while we were waiting for Paul, the hospital employee was driving me and the baby in my van -- completely crazily, almost running stoplights and coming close to hitting trains.

My interpretation: I don't really worry much about the actual childbirth. I'm not scared of the pain of labor and birth, which I've never had any trouble coping with. I worry more about being "managed" during labor and afterwards -- particularly by people who are focused on their institutional rules, rules that don't necessarily correspond with the reality of birth and breastfeeding. I'm sure this worry is exaggerated because I've recently been helping a mother who is delivering at the same hospital
where I will, and they've been giving her absolutely horrendous breastfeeding advice.

I don't usually remember many dreams because I usually sleep rather soundly. But during pregnancy, it's pretty common to remember more of them.