Fortunate juxtaposition

Between my house and Santa Monica is one of my favorite little shopping centers.

There's a Whole Foods. Right next to a 99 Cents Only store.

I go to the 99 Cents Only store first because there's an excellent chance I'm going to find something great, something that's also next door at three or four times the price.

Yesterday, I found a jar of oganic tahini for 99.9 cents. It would sell for at least $5 elsewhere.

The clerk was asking me what it was good for, and I mentioned hummus, which she didn't know about, so I gave her a simple off-the-top-of-my-head recipe.

By L.A. standards, I'm not a foodie. I cook a lot, and I'm a decent cook, but I'm not all that fancy. The plan is easier when I'm focused on simple food. I can handle limited portion sizes when the food isn't particularly yummy. If I make really good stuff, it works better to portion it out for a few meals. Presentation also helps so much. I feel more deprived when I eat my meals on the run, one section at a time. Making a big, full plate satisfies.

Friday Flashback: Pick-up Artists

From March 2009:

I'm reading this hilarious book: The Game, by Neil Strauss.

It is ostensibly a memoir of his years in the Pick-Up Artist (PUA) community. The book's presentation is a hoot, as well, as it's designed to look like a Bible, complete with gold pages and a little ribbon to keep your place.

I don't believe a lot of the book.

I do believe the pickup stories and accounts of piggish behavior.

I don't believe the narrative arc. It fits too nicely together for it to be real. Things happen to perfectly; it's too much like a novel.

My fixation on reading about men trying to get women annoys my poor, long-suffering husband: "Why are you so fascinated with this garbage?"

He knows the story, but I tell him again.

Last summer, I was suddenly getting approached by more idiots than I ever did in my life. At first, it was sort of interesting, but then I just got embarrassed and annoyed. I'm thinking, "What the heck is up with this?"

So I turned to the great oracle, Google.

I plugged in, "Picking up women." And I found them, the PUAs, the most unintentionally hilarious group I've ever discovered. They all have code names: The Gambler, Mystery, Style. And more. They have whole patterns and schticks they use to hit on women in clubs. I was never a club person, so a lot of this is, for me, like reading about a completely different culture. Some people get irritated at their apparent misogyny. To me, they seem more than a little pathetic.

And, while I find them and their stories funny, I also feel as though they did me a service.

Because, through them, I figured out that I was giving, "IOIs." Everything has a stupid acronym in the PUA community, and IOIs are "indicators of interest."

When I was really fat, I could look everywhere, as I was invisible to most people. People wouldn't look at me because, as we all know, being fat is contagious and if you look at a fat person, it just may happen to you.

But, once I was simply chubby, I was suddenly in The Game again, which totally shocked me after being out of it for so long.

So, when I'd look at or -- heaven forbid! -- smile at a stranger, as I used to do as a friendly, fat, goofy mom all the time, it was apparently guy code for "She wants me." But only once I was thinner, of course.

So I learned to be careful about where I put my eyes, and I'm stingier with my smiles, particularly with strangers. I'm back to acting how I did in my 20s, when I had good instincts about such matters.

Even though I (objectively) look better now, I don't get nearly the number of morons trying to make conversation or try out their stupid lines as I did last summer.

So, thank you PUAs!

One of 'those'

Tiffany and I were noticing a woman who was behaving a little oddly, like someone who was enjoying being seen and enjoying the way her body moved a little too much.

Tiffany pointed out that she had just lost a fair amount of weight -- and that it's typical for women who lose a lot of weight to act a bit like that.

"I've been there," I admitted.

"So have I," Tiffany said.

Soreness

I feel surprisingly firm in the legs -- and sore in the arms -- after all the exercise from the weekend. The hula-hooping also prompted some abdominal soreness. That might have to be my new sport. The one thing I didn't like about it was the emphasis on the appearance of it. 

Hooping class

They actually have classes in hula-hooping out here.

I did one today, as part of the conclusion of Tiffany's ElementalYou retreat.

Coordination isn't my strong suit, but I easily could do the hooping.