Vanity of vanities

My son took a video yesterday and I happened to get in it.

Watching it later, I was thinking -- "Wow. I look so thin." (This, of course, is all relative. I look thin for me.)

I think people get images in their heads of what they look like. And it takes a lot to change those internal mental images. It works the other way, too; I never pictured myself as heavy as I eventually got.

Terrible book: This trip, I've had time to read some fiction, but I picked an absolutely awful book; The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd. It started off terribly, but I wanted to see if it would get any better. It didn't.

My red shoes

Every time I put on my red flat shoes, I get grief.

The 12-year-old says they're ugly because the toe is rounded. And they're old. They're high-quality shoes, but they do look almost as old as they are.

Paul laughs at me because they look like shoes little girls would wear, with a Mary Jane strap. Plus, he thinks that the fact that they're red is just silly.

They've been good to have on hand, though, for when I don't want to wear heels -- for physical or social comfort reasons.

My "safety" shoes, however, are no more. We took the kids to a water park today, and I put the shoes in a bag while I walked around in the 9-inch-deep water. Somehow, one of the kids or Paul managed to lose one of them while I was supervising the 6-year-old.

The 12-year-old says it was actually a good thing that one of them got lost because now I can't wear them anymore.

42 reluctant minutes

It's been hot and surprisingly humid in Albuquerque. By 7 p.m., it was cool enough to get some running in.

Paul and the two littler kids came with me.

I went ahead. Soon, I heard little feet running up behind me. My 6-year-old had caught up. Then, my 8-year-old did, too.

A few minutes later, though, I hear an out-of-breath, "Mom, how do you run for so long?"

I explained I just don't run too fast.

I ran to a park, so the kids could play, and the 42 minutes went surprisingly well.

20 minutes -- late and at altitude

I didn't get out the door until closer to 9 a.m. I got 20 minutes worth of running in before the family started calling me.

I could feel the difference at the higher elevation. Of course, it's hard to tell how much of my feeling the difference came from knowing that there's difference.

In denial?

We made it to Albuquerque, despite a four-hour drive to Palm Springs. I was going to take us the route through Barstow, but it was too crazy with Vegas traffic. I knew our car would be overheating like crazy going through the mountains at 10 mph (it reminded me of me attempting to run hills), so we went through Phoenix instead -- and that added about 100 miles to the journey.

We barely made it in time for the reason we were there -- to see the basketball tournament my brother organized. If we'd gotten there on Friday, we would've gotten to see a guy who played in the NBA last season. As it was, there were a number of former Division I guys, destined to play in Europe, on the showcase teams. It was street ball, which my Hoosier husband turned up his nose at, but I enjoyed it -- particularly since we were sitting just feet away from the action.

I've had a dieting realization as well on this trip already.

Although I know I didn't eat all that much in the past, I also was made painfully aware that I wasn't all that careful in my choices either.

A free bacon/eggs/hashbrowns/toast breakfast came with our hotel room. Before 2007, I would've eaten it. Then, after Mass, there were coffee and doughnuts. I would've had one of those.

Before 2007, for lunch, I would've run to a New Mexican restaurant and had something cheesy (probably chile rellenos, which are also fried) and then a sopaipilla (fried square of dough) for dessert.

Today, I ate a couple of eggs, a banana, yogurt and coffee with milk for breakfast. Lunch was a burger, salad and mashed potatoes. I freaked out the server, per usual -- no cheese, no croutons, no sauces, no bread.

So, I know in the past I was a little bit in denial. I mean, there was always an excuse to go off a diet, so I did. Frequently. The difference in the calorie count is dramatic between today's vacation meals and the pre-2007 ones.

Running report: Only 50 minutes this week with the craziness of the trip. Since I've gone and paid for a half marathon in early September, this isn't looking good. Running that I manage to do here in ABQ will be helpful, though, with the higher altitude.

Weirdness report: Just to push weirdness in my life to the next level, I'm going to have a mini-high-school reunion with the High School Bad Boy who briefly had turned into a semi-annoying presence on my Facebook page. The kids and Paul and maybe even my brother will come. Since I'm good at creating distance (when I want to) and being intentionally unattractive, I'm not worried about it. Bringing my entourage makes it even more harmless.