Excess

One of my favorite poet/philosophers, William Blake, said this:

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom."

That is, of course, the main reason I got fat: Excess. There's no question that excess is in my nature in many ways. I also very much doubt, however, that it has led to wisdom.

Even as a recovering fat person, I tend to seek out plenty. I don't like a feeling of lack, a feeling of restraint. I tend to buy the kids too many Easter sweets (although I've been restrained this year) and more produce than my family can possibly eat. I acquire more books than we can possibly read. I commit to more things than I could possibly accomplish.

Paul grounds me because, ironically, he has quite a bit of the ascetic in him. I challenge his tendencies towards self-denial; he attempts to keep me and my excess reigned in -- and he generally does a good job, at least with the things that are most important to him.

But it's ultimately my struggle, not his. Most of the time, too, I don't really want to fight it. I don't see a huge problem with a life of excess, although it definitely wasn't good with regards to my weight.

I do try to challenge my excess into positive things whenever possible, though, which probably explains the exercise kick. The nice thing about being older is I can feel decent about simply getting out there. Before, I would've felt too competitive, as though I shouldn't do things because other people did them so much better. Now I don't care.

Peak experiences

Things that other people say should be life-changing experiences rarely feel that way to me.

With the marathon, I didn't expect my life to feel all that different -- and it hasn't.

Losing weight, on the other hand, has been a huge change -- but it happened rather gradually, of course.

Peak experiences for me include certain jobs I was offered, certain articles I've sold, watching my children do well at something. Also, giving birth was hugely satisfying and wonderful. Our wedding day was stressful, and I'd say there have definitely been better times aside from that day -- which many people romanticize and idealize.

Paul (sweetly) says that one of his peak experiences was when I agreed to go out with him because he thought there was a chance I'd say "no" -- I can be hard to read.

I have to honestly say, though, that I was more excited when I first ran one mile (and later one hour) without stopping than I was when I finished the marathon. It's probably because running was still novel and new.

I'm going to keep running, of course, but I think I need to find a new thing as well.

Why did this diet work when others didn't?

This diet worked when others didn't for a number of reasons.

The elementalyou plan is highly regimented and structured. You eat certain things in certain combinations at certain times of day. You measure and weigh your food. There's no way you can delude yourself.

Plus, and I think this was huge -- you're Not Allowed to Weigh Yourself. Much as I enjoy running so much more when it's for the fun of it and I'm not measuring my distance or my time, staying on plan is easier when I'm not messing with myself by weighing every day.

When I weigh once a month, the little losses add up to something significant. When I was weighing every day, it was darn near impossible to stay on a diet because I could be very "good" and see numbers go up from day to day. Even if they only went up a little, it was still discouraging. Now, the scale almost always goes down from month to month, even if it's just a little.

I want to run with you, Mom

My 8-year-old has asked if she can run with me every morning. And do races.

My 11-year-old wants to walk a marathon next year. She knows I'd rather she ran, and that's why she says she wants to walk. She's like that.

I wasn't really expecting this.

Not that I'm complaining, of course.

Of course, I actually have to Run Again before my girls can run with me. I'm beginning to think that the marathon was like aversion therapy for me when it comes to running.

No, I will not be one of those people who runs the marathon and never runs again.

Exercise: Yesterday, I hit line drives to 14-year-olds at the park for about 20 minutes, and my arms are feeling oh-so-buff today. I was amazed at how far and fast a baseball comes off an aluminum bat. They were funny because they'd forget I didn't have a glove and wasn't wearing hard shoes, and they'd whip the ball in to me. I had to remind them to tone it down a couple of times. I've got a nice bruise on my forearm.

Cocktail dressing!

Last week, one of the members of the pace group I've been running with said she had an extra ticket to the celebratory banquet. She offered it to a new club and pace group member who had completed his or her first marathon.

I had been sort of wanting to go to the banquet, but I'm a cheapskate and a ticket cost $40. Plus, I didn't want to go badly enough to drag Paul. It would've cost me way too many Paul Points. I knew he wouldn't enjoy hanging out at an event with literally hundreds of people he didn't know and then listening to all the speeches.

So, when the offer for a free ticket for one came up, I felt really lucky.

The only hitch in the works were these two words: Cocktail attire.

I have plenty of professional or nicer casual clothes that fit. I do not have a cocktail dress.

The added complication, of course -- I have also Given Up Buying Clothing For Lent.

But, Tiffany and her closet came to the rescue. She and I are the same height and wear the same size shoes and many of the same size clothes, but that's where the similarities end. Her figure is much more proportionate. I'm all legs and breasts and belly. Not necessarily in that order. Plus, we dress differently. I wear my skirts shorter and my tops looser. So everything in her closet doesn't fit me, but there are things that do.

I came out of there with a nice dress. It was close-fitting and below-knee-length and didn't hide my belly at all, but it somehow still worked.

What else I wore: Black nail polish to cover my black and/or missing nails. I lost one the other day.

The party was fine. I was glad I listened to my instincts and left Paul home. It would've been too long for him, and I wouldn't have enjoyed myself knowing that he was antsy and irritated with long-winded speeches.

The food was great -- I couldn't eat everything, of course, but I had no trouble with the menu -- salmon, veggies, roasted potatoes, salad -- all fit on my plan.