Intentional overscheduling

I have a bad, longtime habit of overbooking myself -- particularly when I'm facing something stressful.

It's happened again with the marathon. First off, not matter how much I try to psyche myself out with thinking about what I call "the banality of the marathon" (lots of people can and do "run" them now; it's not as overwhelming as I might've supposed) -- I'm feeling a little bit of intimidation.

It's not unlike two other bigger things I did: Get married and Have my first child.

I was completely ready for both of those things. At the same time, I was still more than a little bit nervous. So, what did I do? I overbooked myself. The morning I got married I was finishing up the ceremony programs, making copies, getting our pictures taken. The day I gave birth to my son, I worked 12 hours at the office and came home and made about six meals, so I knew I wouldn't have to cook again for a while. I get myself too busy in order not to think about what's coming.

To a certain extent, I've done the same thing with the marathon, although it was not at all intentional. Too many kid things effectively overbooked me -- I didn't need to do it to myself. I even ended up canceling a bunch of them. And I canceled even more things that were purely Mine.

Day before the marathon

Things I'm happy with

1) I *so* love the route. I know the last six miles very well. I never did run the last 10, but when I get to 20, I'll be in familiar territory.

2) The running club has aid stations so I can leave my food with them and not have to worry about carrying it.

3) The forecast is now calling for cooler temps tomorrow than it did earlier in the week -- when I started panicking.

4) I'm going to see a bunch of friends along the route. Probably not the family, as they have other things going on -- but that might be just as well.

5) I pretty happy about how I'm going to get there. I'm going to be quite a bit early, but that's better than late.

Things I'm not so happy with

1) I don't feel super well-trained. I know I'm OK, but I'm not as well-trained as I had hoped to be. When I do another marathon, I will sign up later and make sure I've gotten as many of the mega-long runs in as I want to. The good thing: I'm not the type to kill myself. I will slow down rather than hurt myself.

2) My cough is hanging on. It's clearly now a part-allergies, part-cold issue. I tried Claritin for the first time the other day, and it helped a bit.

L.A. marathon expo

I went yesterday and I'm glad I did. My 6-year-old came, so I knew it would be a quick trip.

It was a bit frustrating because the parking situation was very disorganized. At one point, two employees 20 feet apart from one another were directing me to go in opposite directions.

I was hoping to find a running skirt with pockets, as my skort, which I love, doesn't have any -- and, it's a little one the short side as well. That's one of my perpetual issues, particularly since I've passed 40 (and even more since I've lost weight). I really have to watch skirt length so as not to look ridiculous.

There were a bunch of samples, mostly of things I won't eat, of course.

Some cold feet

Am I really going to run a marathon Sunday?

I'm managing to come up with some slightly chilly feet. Here's why:

1) What is up with this weather? I can run in warm weather. I just Don't Like It. Forecasts are predicting highs in the 70s.

2) The family is picking this week to freak out a bit. I have my own little internal anxieties, but they're not significant and they rarely affect others. I'm lucky enough to have pretty steady moods, so it's my role to keep the emotional pitch steady.

The question is -- Are they freaking out because I'm falling down on the job -- or is it simply some bad timing? I finally told them that I need some calmness this week, not more drama.

I go through some of this same kind of thing when I fly. I'm fine once we're at the airport. It's the time leading up to it that's a problem (and this has only happened since I've been a mother).

I know I'll be fine once it's Sunday (although I wish the starting time were actually earlier). These last few days will be tough, though.

Apple "pie" for breakfast

I had this for breakfast this morning:

2 eggs

Apple "pie"
One apple, diced and "baked" in the microwave for three minutes -- browning under the broiler is a nice option, but I didn't do it today
Add 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1 cup nonfat plain yogurt
2 T. flax seeds, ground

Mix together.

Yum!

A little bit recovered

My 30-minute run went fine this morning. I coughed a bit, but I could breathe. It was intentionally slow.

I think I might go to the doctor, just to make sure I don't have strep. A friend of mine has it.

I'm so glad the marathon is this Sunday rather than yesterday. I would've wussed out. As it is, I think I have time to get better.

I can't believe I wore this

Cleaning out the closet has been on my to-do list for a while. What happens is that all kinds of clutter just gets shoved in there. We don't have a garage or a basement or an attic. My closet must suffice.

I got rid of a good eight boxes full of "stuff" that no one needs anymore; plus,I got Paul's old baseball cards out of my bedroom and into that closet (with my cards, I will confess).

I found a box full of coats and princess costumes. In it was this horrible coat that a friend of mine gave me. It's blue knit with wolves on it. It'd be fine to wear if I lived in Flagstaff or Big Bear or if Paul were my female partner. I used to wear it relatively frequently, though, while I lived in L.A. and while married to a man. Heck, it fit. And I clearly had given up. I hadn't seen it since we moved 2.5 years ago.

Here it is! You can't tell from the picture, but I'm swimming in it.



I really can't believe I went out in public with it on my body.

The best part, however, is that I will be wearing it again. It will be my "morning of the marathon" outfit. It will remain at Dodger Stadium, never to be seen (by me) again.