I'm on this yahoogroup with about half of the mothers on the Westside of Los Angeles. The group is heavy with 30- and 40-somethings. They talk about nannies; they talk about potty-training; they talk about Internet safety; they talk about how much they like getting attention from male strangers.
What??!!!
Yes, attention from male strangers. Some of them really seem to like it. Or at least their self-esteem is a bit dependent on it. I, on the other hand, have talked a lot about my ambivalence about the whole thing. When I was heavy and invisible, I really didn't miss it -- as these women seem to. When it came back, it was really jarring. And I know it's going away again.
I've been really tempted to weigh in with the moms, since obviously I've been thinking a lot about this issue.
Instead, though, I'm going to write here.
OK, middle-aged women, if you still want to turn male heads, this is how you do it:
1) Wear tighter clothes. Not so tight that we can see your gut squeezed out over your jeans. Or so tight that you feel trashy. But form-fitting enough so people can see your basic shape. Trust me, your figure doesn't have to be perfect. Men just like to look. You need to give them something to look at, if you're trying for that.
2) Heels. There's something about even the sound of them that creates an almost instinctual response.
3) Hair. As long and as free as possible.
4) Skirts. Or nice jeans, depending on your assets. So to speak.
5) Hats and/or sunglasses. They make all of us look glamorous. (Except for my huge gardener hat, but that's still attention-getting in its silliness.)
6) A little cleavage. I personally avoid this one myself, so I can avoid a too-quick descent into way too much trashiness. But if you're going for attention, it certainly works.
The thing about men is that, as I've said before, they just like to look. Once they get out of high school, where there are only a few girls who are worthy of attention, their tastes broaden.
And, as I've also said before, it doesn't mean anything. It's silly to have your self-esteem affected by how many goofballs look your way. It's even silly for me to be upset by it, as I've been in the past. And probably will be in the future. Men are easily drawn in by flashiness -- that's why I recommend the heels and the hair and tighter clothes, if you're hoping to catch eyes.
On that note, I had a funny exchange today at a coffee shop. I was the first one waiting in line, right by the "line starts here" sign, but I was apparently not in the right place. A man came up to me and asked if I were in line. I said, "Oh, am I on the wrong side?" He said, "Yes, but you're really working it!" Whatever that meant. But it seemed positive. And, yes, I was wearing a straight skirt and heels and tights.
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