Running & depressing clothes

After nearly a week without running, I got a mile in today, in addition to at least two walking -- I lost count.

I also tried on some dresses at Black Market/White House or whatever the heck it is. That proved to be depressing, as I had the realization that although I can fit their clothes now, I'd need to get them altered, which turns a $60 dress into much less of a bargain. Then, I decided I didn't want to get anything altered until I'm closer to where I'm going to land. I expect the changes that happen over the next six months to be rather dramatic, so I'm better off staying with the less-tailored clothes now.

Four Food on Friday -- No. 61

#1.  Do you prefer cooking with electric or gas?


Ideally, I'd like a gas range and an electric oven. I used to prefer electric strongly, but I haven't cooked with it since we moved to CA, so I can handle gas fine now.

#2.  How many times a month do you order out?


Maybe once. We go out more, oftentimes I'm working, though.

#3.  How do you like your ice - cubed or crushed?


Crushed!

#4.  Share a Christmas recipe.


This was from my family of origin. I don't eat it, and my kids don't like it. My husband does. My family version also included a cup of walnuts.

STRAWBERRY JELLO DESSERT

2 pkgs. strawberry jello
2 c. boiling water
1 (10 oz.) pkg. frozen strawberries
3 mashed bananas
1 (#2) can crushed pineapple (with
juice)
Sour cream (about a pint)

Dissolve jello in water and add remaining ingredient.s Pour 1/2 mixture in mold. Let set in refrigerator. Spread sour cream, then pour remaining mixture on top and refrigerate until set.

If you want to do this, here is the website:

http://funcraftsandrecipes.com/index.php/category/four-foods-on-friday/

Cookies, again

 bought everything I needed to make all my traditional cookies this year.

Then I decided not to do them. At least not yet. I did get the pre-sliced-and-bake cookies, which I never would have done in the past, so the kids have some Christmas cookies. But I decided I wasn't quite ready for making a bunch of Christmas cookies I can't eat. I've heard too many stories of people breaking their abstinence on Christmas cookies or cookie dough.

I'm reading an interesting book, Food and Loathing, by Betsy Lerner. The author suffers from depression as well as food issues, and she did a 12-step program as a teenager. She has a certain mockery of the mantras that often go along with those programs. I haven't brought myself to one of those meetings because of my own contempt for platitudes. At the same time, she told me one I hadn't heard before, one that really speaks to me: "The first abstinence is a gift."

I haven't broken my abstinence. I don't plan to. So, I'm very protective of it. This book reminded me of how special it is.

What eventually cured Lerner's issues with food weren't so much abstinence but being properly medicated for her treatable manic depression.

I clearly do fine when I'm abstinent, and I really don't want to find out what will happen if I slip. So I avoid temptation. I will be doing a new cookie recipe, probably tomorrow, but I won't be bringing out the old favorites that have my emotional associations. At least not yet -- and maybe never. My kids will develop different Christmas food memories than I have -- and that's OK.

Size Medium

I had a gift card to Victoria's Secret that had to be used by Dec. 24. I've been wearing the same underwear for the last 80 pounds, and it's getting pretty baggy, but I really didn't know what size pants to get for sure. So, I went to the salesclerk. I said Size 10, and she told me that that was a Large, then she told me she was a 7/8 and wore a Medium. She undoubtedly weighed less than me, as she was shorter and smaller on top, but she looked a little hippy. Then, she looked me over and said, "Oh, no, you're a Medium. Your thighs and hips are narrower than mine." It's a weird world where at least my butt is smaller than that of a young woman in retail.

Brrrrrr!

I'm officially a California weather wimp. You should see me in thick socks and a turtleneck, another sweater and a winter coat.  I used to walk to work (only about 1/2 mile) in minus-14-degree weather (there was no point in starting up the car just to turn it off again). Now, 45-degree temps get my teeth rattling.

Paul thinks it's the weight loss. I go around asking him and the kids: "Are you cold?" No, it's only me.

Slacking on exercise

I've been having equipment failures. First, I wore the wrong shoes, and I ended up giving myself a blister after a long walk. Second, I misplaced the second and apparently crucial component of my chest-binding system before I was hoping to run on Saturday. I tried to run anyway, but it just hurt too much. Call me a wuss, but I don't run through pain, particularly that kind of pain. But, today, I have things under control, so I'll be going out this afternoon.

Something I've learned

My dad, the goof, would say, "Tell so-and-so he's a @#$&*@#. But tell him in a nice way."

That's kind of how I'm going to make this next statement. One thing that has become really apparent after losing 80 pounds is this: Men are pigs.

They're nice pigs. Oftentimes harmless pigs. Pigs who can't help it. But pigs nonetheless.

OK, I always knew this, intellectually, but I wasn't exposed to it for most of my 30s. So now that I'm seeing it again, it's that much more noticeable.

Here's a new wrinkle in male piggishness that I've been getting lately. Heck, even when I weighed 200, I was getting the older guys doing the little head turn to see my rear view. Now, I'm getting younger guys who come up from behind me and then turn around as they pass to check out the front view. I don't remember that from my 20s. 

Of course, it is harmless, and they're biologically programmed to look. I wonder how long it'll take me to get used to that stuff again.