Day 329 and my experience with a trainer

Today's workout, Part I

20 minutes on the treadmill, all the way up, of course. 1 mile, 250 calories.

Workout fun

I talked to a bossy lady today who was telling me how I need to vary my workout. 

Yes, I know. I do prefer the fun workouts to the mind-numbing treadmill. I'm working at making moving fun, instead of drudgery.

I took a class with a trainer for 12 weeks. That was a blast, but I was well aware that I was paying someone to "play" with me. He played at my level, but it wasn't fun for him. Oh, he enjoyed getting paid and he enjoyed seeing me want, futilely, to kick his butt -- but he wasn't getting any physical challenge from working with me.  (I have the same thing when I play with my kids.)

I have a certain bias against athletic types; he has a certain bias, although he was pretty good at hiding it, against out-of-shape unathletic types. Plus, he didn't "get" me at all because I'm pretty quiet outside of homeschool park day. I also didn't trust him not to embarrass me. 

We didn't have our breakthrough until a few classes in. He pulled me aside and said, "OK, Kathleen, I'm stronger and in better shape than you, but we're going to do this drill. Put your hands on my shoulders and I'll put mine on yours. It's a football drill. Your supposed to push me as hard as you can. You might not be able to move me." You can bet I almost knocked him on his tail. Fat ladies get really strong legs. He liked me better after that. 

He did teach me some other fun drills, like throwing a medicine ball against a wall. Or just having a pass with one.

I also got him thinking more in general, I hope, too. He's going to climb Mt. Kilamanjaro, and I told him he had to read the Hemingway story then, which he didn't know about. 

It was a great experience overall, though. It was really pushing my comfort zone to have someone watching me while I exercised -- and that's a good thing. Eleanor Roosevelt said to do something that scared you every day. I've been aiming for that lately. 

The fun aspect of movement, too, is why I like going to the beach. Boogie boarding is decent exercise in addition to being a kick. My kids think it's cool that I go out there with them. Oh, and the kids and I have been doing a ton of dancing lately. I'm teaching myself the Soulja Boy dance, partly because it's good exercise, partly because it'll make the neighbor kids laugh like crazy to see a dorky white mom pulling it off.

Why "write-sizing"?

Because every other name I came up with was taken.

That's the amazing thing, though. All the blogs with names I wanted were clearly started as weight-loss blogs, but none of the owners' weight losses had taken off. One of the poor women gained 20 pounds instead of losing anything. Others made a few posts and then ... nothing.

Day 328

Today's workout

49 minutes on the treadmill, mostly at the top but some interval work

2.13 miles

500 calories burned

Heart rate 140-160 for 40 minutes

This came after my evening stroll with Paul.

The spiritual component

Not everything about my eating plan makes sense.

But it works. 

My responsibility is to do what the plan says, not question it or analyze it. I feel, sometimes, like the postulant (nun-in-training) who is learning obedience by following whatever bizarre order she has been given by her superior. 

Sometimes, I feel myself getting too confident and thinking -- why can't I have fill-in-the-blank now? I'm not eating sugar, wheat or flour -- what's wrong with spreading out my food in a different way? But it's that kind of thinking that got me fat in the first place.

Doing what the plan says allows me to let go of thinking about food much of the time 

How much do I weigh?

It doesn't matter. Really.

I get on the scale once every 28 days. It is always lower than it was the previous month, but not always by much. I've had months where I've lost two pounds. Even in those months, though, I've gained muscle, as I frequently have lost a bunch in inches.

I actually don't know my true starting weight. I'd done too many diets where I got on the scale and did a big official Beginning My Diet exercise, and then a couple of days later it was over. It didn't work. With this one, I weighed myself some time in October and got disgusted, as it was my all-time high. I think I gained a few more pounds before I went on the plan, but I don't know the exact number. So I have only a guess as to my starting weight. 

I do know that my pants size has gone down from a Size 20 to a Size 12. Some of those 12s are getting baggy on me as well, at least in the bottom. Since I'm top-heavy, in shirts and dresses I've gone from a Size 20 to a Size 14 or 16, depending on the cut. 

I'm about five pounds heavier than I was when I got married and 40 pounds heavier than my lowest adult weight.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I feel deprived?

No. I'm very satisfied with what I eat.

From Paul: Are you ever tempted when we're eating sweets?

No. Breaded things sometimes get me going. Stupid things like dinosaur chicken nuggets or fish sticks. Or, I made a calzone the other day that looked really yummy. Once I cut it and people were eating it, I was fine.

I'm often tempted by a nice-looking glass of wine. Or a margarita.

How can you cook things you can't eat?

I didn't at first. Since I've been eating this way for 327 days, it's not as much of a problem. Last December, I made only cookies that were cutouts from the supermarket -- and brownies. This year, I might try to do my usual ones, but I'm not sure yet.

When are you going to stop?

At a certain point, I'll stop losing weight. I don't have a goal in my head. I don't plan to ever eat desserts or bread again. I will have margaritas.

The good and the bad

The good
No more Lane Bryant or The Avenue
A ton more energy
No obsessing about food
Better role modeling for the kids
Much cuter clothes

Better treatment from strangers
Much positive reinforcement from husband

The bad
Too much positive reinforcement from every middle-aged breast fetishist in LA

Note to self: See how much longer "The good" list is.

Day 327

Today's workout

41 minutes on the treadmill, with the incline to the top

2 miles

507 calories burned

Heart rate 140-160 for 35 minutes

Yummy dessert

Pomegranates were at the farmer's market yesterday!

So, for dessert, I had one of my favorites: 1 pomegranate mixed with 1 cup plain yogurt and 1 tsp. cinnamon.

Why a blog now?

I didn't start a blog at first, although I considered it, because I just wasn't confident that this plan was going to be successful. I've started a ton of diets that were going to be The One -- but they weren't. I'm sure if I could've kept on them, I would've lost weight. The problem was that I couldn't stay on them; I just am not good with restraint. "The road of excess leads to the palace of Wisdom," William Blake writes. I've always liked Blake's philosophies, but I'm not sure that excess led me to wisdom so much as progressively bigger clothes. This plan doesn't require willpower on my end, and, because of that, I can do it.

I'm also wanting to document what I do eat and how much I exercise -- as well as talk about some of the emotional effects of the weight loss, which are significant. I have my exercise goals, but I don't always meet them, and I need to make them a priority. I'm aiming to write them down, so I have a true picture of what I'm doing.

What I do

I eat four meals a day. They're weighed and measured -- usually. At first, they always were; now, I can and do guesstimate, but it's very rare. I eat no form of sugar, artificial sweeteners, natural sweeteners (including fruit juice, agave nectar, etc.), wheat or flour of any kind. I'm following a plan that a friend of mine developed. Find it here: www.elementalyou.com

I also exercise a ton. Every day, I take a 30-minute walk with Paul, my husband, but that's more catch-up time than exercise. I lift weights three times a week and walk for at least 30 minutes most days on the treadmill, with the incline all the way to the top. At least that's the goal. One reason I started this was to document my exercise.

My current photo

This was taken on August 13, 2008. In this photo I am approximately 70 pounds thinner than the previous picture.

I still have somewhere between 30-50 pounds before I am at "goal weight." At this point, I don't know where I'm going to settle. I do know, for the first time in my life, that I will get to wherever I want to be.

My before picture

This is a picture that was taken on Oct. 6, 2007. There are not many pictures of me from 2004-2007, as I was avoiding the camera. I was the Team Parent for my 6-year-old's soccer team, so I didn't have a choice.